maybe my fruit wears mouse ears.

it's friday night. and i'm cleaning my room.
more like cleaning out my room. dumping things i don't need. hanging up things i'd like to see more often. boxing up stuff i don't have room for.

i could use a clean out of my mind too, i think.
i just read some of my past blogs. geezo.
i don't know why i post my thoughts in public places sometimes.
which is probably what i'll think next time i read this.
well...

i'm feeling kind of...something. i don't really know what. maybe a combination of a few things.
i just keep thinking about how i'm graduating this year. five years of college and suddenly, i'm an adult? that's really exciting, but...
but i feel like that means i should be...more grown up? wiser? organized? knowledgeable? who knows. all of the above i guess...
i just don't really feel like 'a grown up'.
i'm still a kid. i'm in school. and for work, i make coffee. my room is a mess. i'm broke. i don't have a [functioning] car. and if i look up right now, i can see my mouse ears from disneyworld.
nothing about that screams 'adult' to me.
being "asleep" to God's will is being content where He has me. knowing that if i'm seeking Him and just letting the Holy Spirit be my strength, then i'm on the right path.
i guess it's really about following. abiding. listening.
john 15, right?
it's not in the job description of the branch to produce fruit. it's the branches job to bear fruit. to hold it.
it's not my job to be joyful or loving or gentle...
it's my job to abide in the Lord, and He'll produce the fruit.

so maybe my fruit doesn't look like a grown up, and wears mouse ears.
if that's where the Lord has me, then i guess i'm ok with that.