love wins.

I’ve been sort of quiet through the whole political process in the last few months. Mostly because I’ve seen that it can bring out the scary sides of many people. I love and respect everyone in my life, even those I don’t agree with. I am not so ignorant as to believe that my way is the only right way. I am open to civil conversation and I will be the first to admit when I have been wrong. With that said, I would like share my opinion on Referendum 74 and ask some questions to those who are against it. These are more rhetorical questions, just things to think about, so I’ve disabled the comments section here as I’ve seen some ‘conversation’ on social networking sites escalate quickly and become hurtful. Know that everything I say is with love and respect. The tone of my voice here is not condescending or hateful. It’s ok if you don’t agree. This is just my view of things. If you do want to have a conversation about it with me, I am definitely open to it! Let’s go get coffee!

Some questions about Ref 74 -

What do you believe will be the outcome of Referendum 74 passing?

Do you think this will cause more people to be gay? May I suggest that whether or not gay marriage is legal, gay people will continue being gay and even living together?

Do you believe that marriage is a religious act and the Bible states it is to be between one man and one woman?

Yes, that is what the Bible says!

So now, my question is this –

What about the men and women who get married every day but are not at all religious? Is their marriage invalid also? Because this viewpoint assumes that all of those in a “traditional marriage” support and uphold what the Bible says to be true. This is not the case. I have many friends and know many people who are in an opposite sex marriage but don’t at all subscribe to Christianity (or sometimes any religion for that matter).  According to you, do these marriages damage the sanctity of marriage? If not, then your argument holds no ground. And if so, then how do you suggest we regulate marriage in this country? Should we have more strict marriage regulations that dictate who can and cannot be married (and divorced), not just based upon gender but upon religious beliefs? What is the solution? Is it ok to assume that although the Bible holds no authority in the lives of many, we should push that authority upon them? Does this reflect the love of Jesus?

Maybe just as human beings we ought to re-think what marriage really is. In our culture today it doesn’t seem that it is a life long covenant to honor and love each other, but rather just a commitment to love each other until we don’t feel like it anymore. This definitely isn’t Biblical but I haven’t seen anyone protesting it. Just something to think about…

Do you believe it will in any way harm you or your marriage? How?

Do you think maybe it’s healthy to focus on the success of your own marriage rather than someone else’s? Do you think maybe our country needs less political activists and more healthy family activists? Do you think we ought to lead by example?

Do you prefer that same sex marriage is not legal because then you will have to have an awkward conversation with your children explaining what’s going on?

This rationale confuses me maybe more than all of the other ones. People have been homosexual far before Ref 74 passed. Gay people were not in hiding before so that your children would not be “exposed”. The first time I had a friend with two moms (that I was aware of) was in 6^th grade. I regularly went to her house and hung out with her family. Guess what I learned…their family wasn’t much different than mine. When I went over we would do homework, jump on the trampoline, tell her moms stories about our days and drama in middle school…all of the same things I did with my friends who had heterosexual parents. And you know what my mom said when I asked about that family? She told me that sometimes men love men or women love women and it’s called being gay or homosexual. She said that it’s different than what our family looks like but that lots of people are different and we are a family who loves and cares for people, not a family who judges others. Our conversation wasn’t awkward and I left with an answer that satisfied me for the time being. Way to go, mom!

So, I think that if you are concerned with having a potentially awkward conversation with your children, maybe consider why you think it has to be awkward. Are you the one making it that way? Won’t it also be awkward to talk with them about how babies are made, or why people die, or how stds are contracted or why some people do drugs or watch porn? Part of being a parent is having hard conversations with your children and educating them on things in life that they may not understand. You are the parent and you steer where the conversation goes.  

Did you know that early Christians lived in a world fairly similar to ours right now…maybe worse? In the city of Corinth there was an enormous temple dedicated to “love” where you could go at any time of day and sleep with temple prostitutes. Unwanted babies were left in the wilderness to die. Corruption was every where. It’s easy to feel powerless when everything around you goes against what you believe is right. 

In this time, Christianity wasn’t the popular religion. They had no power to change what was going on around them in the culture, so instead, they chose to lead by example. They saw that marriages and families around them were not healthy and thriving so they chose to be an example in their community of what God intended marriage and family to be (that is- loving, caring, supporting, encouraging one another). They saw that children were being left for dead, so they would go out and find them and take them in as their own. When they saw widows in their community starving, they used their own income and food to help.

They did not stand on street corners yelling at people who did not believe the same as them. Simply put, they were just doing what Jesus said – Loving God and loving people. This was revolutionary. And it still is today.

I am a Christian. That means I follow Jesus and that I want to be more like Him.  He says that He is gentle and humble, not forceful and prideful. Jesus says that we should love God and love people. He says that it’s not our job to judge who other people are or what they are doing. He says we ought to take the plank out of our own eye before we attempt to take the splinter out of someone else’s. Jesus is not focused on making bad people good. He wants to make dead people live.

Today I am happy for and celebrating with my friends who are now allowed to be married! But I also believe there are bigger things in this world going on than marriage equality. It saddens me that my gay friends will continue to face prejudice and hate. It saddens me that people are starving to death when there are more than enough resources in this world to solve that problem. It saddens me that the US is a huge hub of human trafficking and that Seattle is one of the biggest hubs in our country. And it so deeply grieves my heart to see people using their money, time and energy fighting against other people rather than loving and advocating for others.

God is FOR everyone and against no one. Because He does not identify us by what we’ve done, but He views us through the redeeming lens of Christ. Whether or not you believe in Him, it’s how He views you. In Him there is life and love and freedom. And we are called to be examples of these things to everyone we encounter.