the problem with poverty porn.

I can hear a rooster crowing. It’s 4 am and I wanted to be asleep about 6 hours ago. I’m so tired I can hardly keep my eyes open, but so nauseous I can’t sleep. Don’t worry…just took my first antibiotic so I should be fine within 12 hours. But I figure if I’m not sleeping I might as well use this golden free-time for blogging. 

Antigua is one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever been. Everything about it is just adorable and rustic and rich in culture. Most of the buildings here are older than the US. There are cobblestone streets and fountains and lights in trees. The weather is seriously perfect; 75 to 80 degrees with a breeze. The people are warm and friendly. The coffee is local and delicious. And the food…don’t even get me started. It’s too good.

Like most beautiful places I’ve been, there’s a lack of congruence. The surrounding beauty lacks conformity with the way of life. Guatemala is the most populated country in Central America, the second poorest country in the western hemisphere and has the fourth highest rate of malnutrition in the world.

I think I’ve been having a hard time connecting the dots here in Antigua. Last year I lived in cultures of poverty all around the world. I sat around the table, worked and did life with friends who can barely afford to survive. This is not something new to me. I have looked in the face of a starving child, helpless to offer much except a bowl of rice and beans.

While the idea of poverty and injustice grieves my heart, I think I’ve also become desensitized to it. It’s so overwhelming an issue that I can’t bare the reality. The stories of the children we meet should bring me to tears, yet they don’t. Because I have heard these stories over. and over. and over. And maybe there is more to share than just what we see.

I've heard it referred to as poverty porn. One sensationalized and graphic story of one persons poverty helps us understand. It takes an issue of extreme systemic problems and simplifies it into what is observable. This elicits an emotional response (as it should), typically for the purpose of fundraising. And yes, we ought to have empathy for our fellow human, but…

I’m having a hard time knowing the best way to honor these beautiful people I encounter each day. I want to share their stories without removing their dignity; without making them just one more poverty narrative. Story is sacred and valuable, not something to exploit for the sake of profit or blog views or even good conversation.

I have a feeling that sometimes we’re missing the point. And I’m not sure I know the answer right now. I just know that I don’t want to objectify a person by stripping them of their humanity and defining them by their suffering. Because there is so much more going on here.

“The problem with stereotypes is not that they are untrue, but that they are incomplete.”

Jesus loved people in a way that lifted up and empowered. His followers that were the start of a revolutionary way of living were fishermen, tax collectors and former prostitutes that went on to transform their own communities.  

So how do we do a better job of telling stories in an honorable way? Perhaps it has to do with who is telling it. Whose voice emerges from the stories we share? Whose agenda are we promoting? These are all questions I’m asking myself as much as anyone else. I’m still trying to figure it out. Let me know what you think.

I think this poem by Micah Bourne sums it up pretty well.

“If I refuse to look at you, would that make you invisible?

My ignorance can never strip you of your substance.

When we speak of justice, we flatter ourselves.

"Let's be heroes, a voice for the voiceless."

But what makes a person voiceless?

The fact that we ignore them, then try to speak on their behalf?

Instead, let us speak humbly for ourselves,

and allow others to tell their own story.

For every voice has something to teach,

and there is no such thing as a voiceless person,

only a world who must learn to listen.”

so much love,

nic

love wins.

I’ve been sort of quiet through the whole political process in the last few months. Mostly because I’ve seen that it can bring out the scary sides of many people. I love and respect everyone in my life, even those I don’t agree with. I am not so ignorant as to believe that my way is the only right way. I am open to civil conversation and I will be the first to admit when I have been wrong. With that said, I would like share my opinion on Referendum 74 and ask some questions to those who are against it. These are more rhetorical questions, just things to think about, so I’ve disabled the comments section here as I’ve seen some ‘conversation’ on social networking sites escalate quickly and become hurtful. Know that everything I say is with love and respect. The tone of my voice here is not condescending or hateful. It’s ok if you don’t agree. This is just my view of things. If you do want to have a conversation about it with me, I am definitely open to it! Let’s go get coffee!

Some questions about Ref 74 -

What do you believe will be the outcome of Referendum 74 passing?

Do you think this will cause more people to be gay? May I suggest that whether or not gay marriage is legal, gay people will continue being gay and even living together?

Do you believe that marriage is a religious act and the Bible states it is to be between one man and one woman?

Yes, that is what the Bible says!

So now, my question is this –

What about the men and women who get married every day but are not at all religious? Is their marriage invalid also? Because this viewpoint assumes that all of those in a “traditional marriage” support and uphold what the Bible says to be true. This is not the case. I have many friends and know many people who are in an opposite sex marriage but don’t at all subscribe to Christianity (or sometimes any religion for that matter).  According to you, do these marriages damage the sanctity of marriage? If not, then your argument holds no ground. And if so, then how do you suggest we regulate marriage in this country? Should we have more strict marriage regulations that dictate who can and cannot be married (and divorced), not just based upon gender but upon religious beliefs? What is the solution? Is it ok to assume that although the Bible holds no authority in the lives of many, we should push that authority upon them? Does this reflect the love of Jesus?

Maybe just as human beings we ought to re-think what marriage really is. In our culture today it doesn’t seem that it is a life long covenant to honor and love each other, but rather just a commitment to love each other until we don’t feel like it anymore. This definitely isn’t Biblical but I haven’t seen anyone protesting it. Just something to think about…

Do you believe it will in any way harm you or your marriage? How?

Do you think maybe it’s healthy to focus on the success of your own marriage rather than someone else’s? Do you think maybe our country needs less political activists and more healthy family activists? Do you think we ought to lead by example?

Do you prefer that same sex marriage is not legal because then you will have to have an awkward conversation with your children explaining what’s going on?

This rationale confuses me maybe more than all of the other ones. People have been homosexual far before Ref 74 passed. Gay people were not in hiding before so that your children would not be “exposed”. The first time I had a friend with two moms (that I was aware of) was in 6^th grade. I regularly went to her house and hung out with her family. Guess what I learned…their family wasn’t much different than mine. When I went over we would do homework, jump on the trampoline, tell her moms stories about our days and drama in middle school…all of the same things I did with my friends who had heterosexual parents. And you know what my mom said when I asked about that family? She told me that sometimes men love men or women love women and it’s called being gay or homosexual. She said that it’s different than what our family looks like but that lots of people are different and we are a family who loves and cares for people, not a family who judges others. Our conversation wasn’t awkward and I left with an answer that satisfied me for the time being. Way to go, mom!

So, I think that if you are concerned with having a potentially awkward conversation with your children, maybe consider why you think it has to be awkward. Are you the one making it that way? Won’t it also be awkward to talk with them about how babies are made, or why people die, or how stds are contracted or why some people do drugs or watch porn? Part of being a parent is having hard conversations with your children and educating them on things in life that they may not understand. You are the parent and you steer where the conversation goes.  

Did you know that early Christians lived in a world fairly similar to ours right now…maybe worse? In the city of Corinth there was an enormous temple dedicated to “love” where you could go at any time of day and sleep with temple prostitutes. Unwanted babies were left in the wilderness to die. Corruption was every where. It’s easy to feel powerless when everything around you goes against what you believe is right. 

In this time, Christianity wasn’t the popular religion. They had no power to change what was going on around them in the culture, so instead, they chose to lead by example. They saw that marriages and families around them were not healthy and thriving so they chose to be an example in their community of what God intended marriage and family to be (that is- loving, caring, supporting, encouraging one another). They saw that children were being left for dead, so they would go out and find them and take them in as their own. When they saw widows in their community starving, they used their own income and food to help.

They did not stand on street corners yelling at people who did not believe the same as them. Simply put, they were just doing what Jesus said – Loving God and loving people. This was revolutionary. And it still is today.

I am a Christian. That means I follow Jesus and that I want to be more like Him.  He says that He is gentle and humble, not forceful and prideful. Jesus says that we should love God and love people. He says that it’s not our job to judge who other people are or what they are doing. He says we ought to take the plank out of our own eye before we attempt to take the splinter out of someone else’s. Jesus is not focused on making bad people good. He wants to make dead people live.

Today I am happy for and celebrating with my friends who are now allowed to be married! But I also believe there are bigger things in this world going on than marriage equality. It saddens me that my gay friends will continue to face prejudice and hate. It saddens me that people are starving to death when there are more than enough resources in this world to solve that problem. It saddens me that the US is a huge hub of human trafficking and that Seattle is one of the biggest hubs in our country. And it so deeply grieves my heart to see people using their money, time and energy fighting against other people rather than loving and advocating for others.

God is FOR everyone and against no one. Because He does not identify us by what we’ve done, but He views us through the redeeming lens of Christ. Whether or not you believe in Him, it’s how He views you. In Him there is life and love and freedom. And we are called to be examples of these things to everyone we encounter. 

tiny house!

lately i have been all about downsizing, reducing, minimizing...you get it. i feel like americans in general are experiencing some sort of cultural disease called OMG GIVE ME MORE BIG NEW SHINY THINGS ALL THE TIME. i sometimes find myself experiencing this phenomenon, walking through the store with glazed over zombie eyeballs, drool hanging from the corner of my mouth, mindlessly putting more and more stuff in my cart. it's real cute. and what i mean by that is it's totally disgusting.

did you know that according to the National Association of Home Builders, the average home size in the US was 2,169 square feet in 2010? what are we doing in all that space? how are we filling up all that room? i'm just as guilty as the next person. if i have space to fill, i'm gonna fill it with more crap i don't need. cause it's super fun and fulfilling to spend money on things we don't care about...right?

anyways, i heard about the tiny house movement a few years ago and have been so intrigued by it since. i would totally looove to live in one of these! it's eco-friendly/responsible and puts an actual physical limitation on how much you can own. brilliant.


besides the obvious, 'what exactly is a tiny house?' you might be asking.
in 1997 a guy named jay shafer decided that he wanted to minimize his environmental footprint and unused space. he started a company called Tumbleweed Tiny House Co.

you can buy blueprints to build your own tiny house from his website. there are even plans for tiny homes you can build on wheels, so they are mobile! plus, they're all completely adorable. 

a couple months ago (on may 19th, i think) i went and spent the day with my friends jeff and margo  who are in the process of building their own tiny house. jeff actually drew all the house plans for this tiny house himself! 

jeff and margo are the kind of people who care deeply about our world and everything in it. they're also ridiculously fun. they have a blog called Our Life to the Fullest where they're documenting the process of the whole house build! here is a little from their "why this?" section:

"We are a couple that is interested in exploring our relationship with our world, and how we can minimize our commitment to our stuff while maximizing our relationship with one another and our community. [...] This is an opportunity for us to take a very large step in the direction of simplifying our life. We want to live in a space that is only what we need, and stop living in spaces where we waste so much energy by heating and cooling spaces that we seldom use. [...] We are so excited to be on this journey together, pursuing a dream for a sustainable future. We are building our home primarily from salvaged (reused) goods, in an effort to show what a classy, well-crafted space you can create without creating new waste for the landfill." 

so great, right? go check out their blog to see all the progress they have made. they're almost done! i'm so excited to go out again this saturday see it! 

here are a few pictures from when i was out there in may helping. and when i say helping i mean mostly standing around eating snacks and watching. 

they totally inspire me. 

child sponsorship

i just had the chance to write another article for the GO newsletter. Check it out!! 

"My dream for these kids is that they would be fed not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually too. My dream is that they would realize that where they are from, doesn't have to determine where they are going. My dream is that they would become wholehearted followers of Christ, empowered to make a change in their community as they grow. " Read the rest here...

a blog about a blog on another blog.

go check out my friend steph's blog - http://micasamundial.blogspot.com

i made a guest appearance there talking about my time on the world race!!

also, check out my world race blog at http://nicoleulrey.theworldrace.org  :)

cheers!

why advocacy?

Here's an article I wrote about advocacy for the GO newsletter! Check out the rest of the newsletter by
clicking -> here.

In case your'e not familiar with GO and what advocacy is; it's a chance to say that you recognize that child sponsorship is powerful and effective by helping to find sponsors for more children. You receive the profiles of 5 unsponsored kids and then do your best to help find them sponsors. The only cost to you is a little time and heart investment. And it's so worth it. 

Why advocacy?

I wish I had enough money to sponsor more than 2 kids. Like, 10 of them. Ok, let’s be real here, I wish I had enough money to sponsor them all. But I don’t and I can’t and that’s what lead me to becoming an advocate.

ad·vo·cate noun : a person who pleads for or in behalf of another; intercessor.

I’m an advocate because I care. I want these kids to have sponsors. I want these kids to know they are loved and cared for. I want them to be empowered to exit the cycle of poverty.

I realize that I can’t sponsor all of the children on my own and I wouldn’t want to, because then other people wouldn’t have the chance to experience sponsorship. Ask anyone who has sponsored a child and really put their heart into it; it will change your heart, and with that, your life.

So, when I became an advocate, I received the profiles of 5 adorable children and thought now what? How do I convince people that these kids are worth it? I wasn’t sure, so I started praying.

Lord, help me to show people how much you love these kids. Help me find sponsors who will be dedicated to loving and praying for your children. 

I started carrying one child profile with me and praying for that child until I found their sponsor. One day as I was driving, I began praying for 10 year old Jimena. I asked God to bless Jimena wherever she was that day and that He would help me to find her a sponsor that would love her well. As I was driving and praying I heard my phone receive a text message. When I parked my car, I checked my phone and saw I had a text message from my friend Allison. It said “We want to sponsor a child :)". A few months prior to that text I had talked with Allison and her husband Brand about the kids I had met in Mazatlan and told them about sponsorship. After thinking and praying about it, they decided they were ready to take that step! I knew it wasn’t any coincidence that it happened to be right while I was praying for Jimena.

Allison and Brand have been sponsoring Jimena for a year now. Allison says “When I first saw a picture of this little girl in another country my heart immediately loved her. I don’t know her. I’ve never met her but I instantly felt connected because God had brought her into our life for a reason and I knew we made the right choice to follow his call. Sponsoring Jimena is a joy! She seems like such a smart girl who has so much potential but the very fact that she was born into poverty puts her at such a disadvantage. If $35 a month can help her overcome that disadvantage just a little bit then I think she can do great things for this world and for the Lord. We love praying for her and looking at her picture holding up her new school shoes that our money helped buy. But more importantly, we are answering the call that God has sent out to take care of the children in this world. Sponsoring is the easiest way to do it and it makes a difference. I recommend it because if you are looking for a way to be part of a great mission then this is the easiest way to do it. I hope that I can meet our “first kid” someday. I don’t think she realizes how much she has blessed our life by allowing us to be a part of it some way.”

I’ve had the chance to meet Jimena and take her letters and gifts from Brand and Allison. It means so much to Jimena and her family. Jimena’s mom said that it brings them so much joy and encouragement to know that they have others in the family of Christ supporting and praying for them regularly.  What a blessing it’s been to see God’s hand in bringing these two families together!

I’ll continue advocating for these children because I want to care for what God cares for. I love being a part of bringing these international families together and seeing the power of Christ centered love transform lives.

i'm goin places.

beautiful mazatlan.

in 50 days my team is leaving for mazatlan. i'm so blessed to be able to return here for a fourth time and so excited to spend a month in this city again! june 15th cannot get here quick enough. 

and...

it's official. i'm accepted.

in 9 months i'm leaving on an 11 month adventure. 

where am i going ?  ecuador - peru - bolivia - romania - ukraine - south africa - swaziland - mozambique - thailand - malaysia - cambodia

what will i "do" there?  it's an adventure! what we'll specifically do in each country is still unknown to me, but i do know that we will be there to meet the needs of the people in tangible, life giving, Kingdom bringing ways. this could include building houses, visiting hospitals and prisons, teaching children, leading camps, loving orphans, feeding the homeless, befriending prostitutes, and so much more. 

there are so many emotions attached to this. i am excited beyond belief. sometimes i feel in shock or a little bit scared. sometimes i feel like it's not real. when i take a minute and let it sink in, my heart starts beating faster and i start smiling like a fool. 

thank you, Lord for knowing my heart and giving me the chance to do what i love.