i'm a little bit sad and angry.

you can't tell me "dont be sad and angry, it's Christmas..."
cause Christmas ended an hour ago.

this year i didn't get very many presents.
but that isn't why i'm sad. it made me just as happy to watch my little brothers open their mountains of presents as it would have made me to open my own.
honestly, i told my parents i didn't want anything this year; that what i really wanted was for them to take the money they would have spent on my presents and donate it to 30 hour famine (if you don't know what that is then ask me). my mom just about flipped when i said this. she said that she would "donate some other time but now it's Christmas and i want you to have gifts under the tree."
but the thing is, i don't need more stuff. my house is full of stuff. do i want more? yeah, my inherently greedy and self-serving nature wants all that i can get. would i like my mom to take me shopping at nordstrom if she's willing? heck yes.
but wait...
who isn't eating dinner tonight because i need a new ringtone on my new phone that i needed? and who can't afford medicine for malaria because i need a new pair of shoes? who isn't getting clean drinking water because i have to have the cutest (super expensive) jeans?
the answer is - someone's child. or mom. or brother. or aunt. you get it...
most likely someone in the third world.

but this is one world. and they are our brothers and sisters in Christ.

if my brother asked me to go without so that he could live for one more day, would i tell him no? is it easier for me to say no since i don't have to say it face to face? since he lives thousands of miles away on a garbage heap and i don't have to hold him while he's dying...?
some people might think that those are unrelated. you know, Christmas presents and dying people. i mean...the two aren't often compared. i'd heard before that wealth is created and just because i have more doesn't mean that someone else gets less - that everyone has the opportunity to create their own wealth. and the saddest part is that i kind of believed that for a little while. and it's not true.
the fact that i have more should mean that i help those with less. as a follower of Jesus my biggest purpose is to love others and glorify Him. spending my money frivolously is doing neither of those things. because i have a choice.
so before i spend $80 on a pair of jeans when i could find a good pair for way cheaper, maybe i should choose the cheaper pair and use what's left over to feed my brother in india that is going to die next week if he doesn't get enough food. or maybe i should choose to buy my african sister her anti retro viral medicine so she does not die a slow, painful death from AIDS, leaving her 5 children as orphans with no one to care for them.
don't get me wrong, having money is definitely not a sin. it's what i choose to do with what i have that is important. i don't think it's necessary to only have one pair of clothes and never drink pepsi and sell my car and give all my money away and live in a box. that'd be ridiculous. but i really do have more than i need and need to give more than i have been.

whether you believe in Jesus or not, i think it's not stretching too far to say that His message is one worth believing in - love. whether you're helping those in your community or those that live in another country, it's about loving others. about recognizing that we should live for something bigger than ourselves. this world does not revolve around me. i am entitled to nothing.
we're all people and we all deserve a chance at life. their chance might come from me. and my chance at life - a real life in Jesus - might come from serving them.