you grieve differently when you have hope.

"when i am afraid, i put my trust in You." psalm 56:3


i'm learning how to apply this to my life. right now. 
it's hard.


"peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." john 14:27


God is consistently showing me that He is not who i think He is. He's so much more.


fear is so circumstantial. and God is not. 


"my heart and my flesh may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and portion forever." psalm 73:26


and the idea that if we entrust our lives to Him, everything will go smoothly is a lie. that's prosperity theology. it's putting gifts above the Giver. and it is not the gospel.  


"God is most glorified in you when you are most satisfied in Him." -John Piper


i feel confident in the fact that in the future, i will look back on this time in my life and be compelled to worship. my perspective is small. right now, i don't get it. and i think that's all the more reason to cling to the One who does.